And, So It Goes (An Homage to Vonnegut)

Cogito Ergo Scribo
7 min readOct 28, 2023
Here is a man falling into a pit.

I dream I am falling into a pit.

I keep falling and falling, waiting to strike bottom, because it has to happen any millisecond now, because I’ve been falling so long, and I can feel my body tense and anticipatory, because it knows it’s the end as soon as I hit the bottom.

Splat!

It’s totally dark and I can’t see anything and I barely feel the air that I am falling through and maybe I’m not actually falling, but floating, but I know better and I have reached terminal velocity and yet I still fall and I keep waiting for the end, for the moment when I hit ground and everything goes black forever and ever.

But, I keep falling.

The dream will not end and I try to wake myself because this thought keeps rolling around in the very back recesses of my head that if you die in a dream, you will die in real life, an idea I heard from Randy Decker way back in 8th grade and it scared me back then, thinking I could die in my sleep, like the for real kind of dying, just because I die in my dreamland, and I remember a dream now that I am falling, a dream I had way back then, not long after Randy told me if you die in your sleep, in a dream, you will die in real life, and in that dream so long ago, I fell backwards off a cliff and I was falling and falling and I thought this is it — I am going to hit bottom and die for real — but I hit bottom with a thud and I did not die for real because I was only falling for a second or two.

This time I keep falling, second after second, and how deep can this hole be because now it feels like I have been falling for a minute or more and the blackness will not relent and I can’t see anything or feel anything other than my body tumbling through open space in the pitch black and somewhere there is a bottom to this pit and when I hit it I am going to die in this dream and I will probably die for real because Randy Decker seemed to know what he was talking about.

At least in this instance, but should you trust a “C” student — probably not — but you never know and you don’t want to be wrong about something like dying because it’s better to be prepared to die rather than having it come upon you suddenly and without warning and without a chance to put all the things in your head in order…

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