Consciousness
There’s a presence inside my head. I can’t say for sure if it is constructed of language, or if it just uses language to describe what it experiences, but, it’s there, for sure, hanging about in the body region inside my skull.
It doesn’t live in my gut. It lives in my skull.
I feel things. Emotions.
I feel things from outside stimuli, like if someone says something that is disagreeable or disturbing to me, if someone cuts me off in traffic, I feel things, am prompted to feel things, but I also fear things deeper, things that do not seem to be influenced by the outside world.
I feel fear a lot, like way down there, almost below the level of consciousness.
This fear colors or flavors or influences what I am feeling consciously, as in, I will feel cagey or insecure or impatient in my conscious experience, stemming from this feeling I am having way down there, deep in the bowels of my brain.
At least that’s how it seems, that my brain is the author of this consciousness.
This presence in my head doesn’t feel like an ally to me.
“I” feel separate from it. It tells me things, or signals things, that I don’t want to hear. Like I said, sometimes it sends up pulses of extreme insecurity, or outright terror, from deep within the recesses of my brain…
